It’s been a couple of exhausting months. Depressing moods, Countless nights of crying. However, today, was the start of a new beginning.. I feel free. I feel extremely well. Not entirely happy, but I can feel I’m getting back to my usual self.
Something simple happened today, and I’ve experienced something I haven’t felt in a while. You know that giddy/heart racing feeling you have when you first meet someone. After months of feeling so insecure, so low and just the feeling of not being good enough – I honestly didn’t think I would ever experience the whole giddy/heart racing feeling anymore. But moments like this really helps you realise – a bad moment won’t last forever.
I met up with someone, we had desserts, we had a few drinks, played pool. It was nice. It was simple but it was great to have the company of someone new. It was a fresh start. With fresh eyes, I had a completely different view today.
It felt good, I feel good. I laughed till my tummy was sore, I had tasty food, I was myself.
I hope this feelings lasts. I’m excited to go back to being myself. Still, that one person is at the back of my head, but thats allowed. I’m human. Right now though, I’m smiling at 1AM instead of crying. That’s a sign of improvement. Baby steps right?
Goodnight world. I hope the people who stayed up till 1AM crying, knows that one night, you’ll be smiling at this time again.