That one person. You know, the one that’s always at the back of your head. The one that you’re reminded of by the most random thing. Its not because they’re this god like human, or this person you fantasise about. This person can be someone that treats you so badly. This person could have committed a lot of unforgivable actions and said terrible things to you. Doesn’t stop them from walking all over your head right?
I genuinely believe in love, that whatever sinful actions a person can do, once I loved them, I’ll always love them. It doesn’t just go away. (but then again, if you pull a chair out for me or send me a random text telling me “Hope your day is going well” – I’m probably half way in love with you)
All this because yesterday, I realised just how much I allowed this person to stay in my head for so long. Still is.
From the most foolish things as well, I’m not even joking.
I cut my hair yesterday, was only a few centimetres, but as usual I instantly regretted. “Why Joey, why do this to yourself?” Then I ended up just smiling back at old memories. I know why. Because he’s not there to tell me not to. Something so small like that reminded me of him. I’m the type of person that hates getting my hair cut, whenever I do I always regret. But he was always in the background reminding me – When I’m looking in the mirror “I think I want to cut my hair.” “Don’t, you know you’re going to regret it”.
My only question is, how can someone occupy your mind so much? It’s crazy.. letting someone into your life, into your comfort zone. Letting them see you at your most vulnerable state. When you’re the most happiest, when you’re in tears.
When you’re happy, you want to share it with them first. If they’re not already the reason why you’re happy.
When you’re angry, my sister is one pure example of this – When she’s angry, she gets angry at her boyfriend even when it’s not his fault! I probably did that too. But I only realise it’s a girl thing now.. because my sisters boyfriend complains to me about it. That’s when I realise “Wow, do we really just get angry at them even though it’s not their fault…”
When you’re upset, nothing feels better than just being in their arms. I’m not going to lie, when he hugs me in attempt of making me feel better and stop me from crying, after an argument or if I’m upset about something else – I usually cry more. But at that stage, I’m not crying because of the original reason anymore. I’m crying because being in his arms, makes me feel so much better, that the tears turns into “I’m so glad he’s here” tears.
We all have that one person. Even you reading this, you probably thought about one person. Whether they’re making you happy now or is upsetting you.
I want to say, maybe that’s love. But love has a lot of unexplained theories. Love is and will always be an equation we can’t solve.
Sometimes you don’t have a choice, you opened your heart to them at one point. Once you do, they will always have the power to pull some heartstrings. I mean, you only feel all these emotions towards someone because you care. Anger, sadness, happiness – it’s only because we care.